In the game of dating, many see the first date as the most important event. They spend all their time preparing for that first date and hardly think about getting a second date. But, in reality, the second date is arguably more important than the first date. The second date signifies that both parties are mutually interested in each other enough to go out again.
On the first date, everyone is usually on their best behavior, and you won’t know their real attitude. Besides, most share only general information on the first date, limiting your knowledge of the other person. The second date sees you move past the basic stuff and start discussing interests, ideas, goals, and passions. You’ll know if your guy’s interested in philosophy or just said it to impress you on the first date.
Second dates reveal the other person’s true character. Most people are relaxed on second dates; they’ll display those subtle character traits.
But there’s an even bigger reason for the second date.
A second date sows the seeds of commitment. Not many people go on second dates, and those who do are likely looking for something serious. If you get a second date, it means the first date left a good impression. Equally, it means the other person may be looking for a long-term relationship.
How to Get a Second Date
You know that getting a second date is important. But how exactly do you get one? Read on to find out!
Getting a second date often involves calling the other person and asking if they’d be interested in going out again. You won’t pop the question immediately when they answer the call. You want to talk about how much you enjoyed the last and gauge their reaction.
Then you might broach the topic of a second date. Or give them more time to process their feelings before calling to ask for second dates. However, you must understand that most people have made up their minds about a second date from the first encounter. People can decide if they like you in minutes, so this is pretty normal.
Your first date determines the chances of getting a second. With this in mind, here are things you can do on the first date to increase your chances of getting a second one:
1. Avoid a bad first date
This isn’t rocket science: a bad first date reduces your chances of getting another one. Things that can lead to a bad first date include poor hygiene, being self-absorbed, asking invasive questions, displaying poor character, etc.
2. Pay attention
This is not the time to reply to texts or watch funny GIFs — if your date is talking, listen intently to what they say. Nothing is more attractive than someone listens to you; many find it romantic, so it’ll increase your second-date chances.
3. Be natural, positive, and warm
Many people try to be on their best behavior on the first date, but the act falls flat and comes off as artificial. Rather than faking, be yourself and remain natural. Also, be positive and warm to your date and those around, including waiters, chefs, etc. This will leave a good impression and may convince them to set up another date.
When You Should Ask for a Second Date
Armchair experts on dating second have turned to date into an elaborate affair. They tell you to delay your request (or answer) so you “don’t look desperate.” No doubt, this is great advice; asking for a second date too quickly can turn off some people. But dating isn’t chess, and people appreciate the straightforwardness.
You can ask for a second date close to the end of the first. Something like “this was fun, can we do it again?” will communicate your desire for a second date. Setting up the first date on the first enables you to take advantage of the momentum. But you can delay your request for a second date by a few days, especially if the proverbial sparks don’t fly on the first date.
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